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Wiley, Angela Roentgen. 2007. Connecting because the a few: Communication event for suit relationship. The brand new Community forum for Friends and Individual Factors, a dozen (1).
An effective communications and you may disease-resolving feel is critical for relationship achievement; not, match relationship want far more than simply an excellent telecommunications and you will situation-solving skills. There can be a common more-reliance on this type of because the “regal way to romance and you will a thriving, happier relationships”(Gottman and you may Silver 1999, 8). These types of experience are necessary but not adequate having good relationship and will be contextualized within the big couples system. (To have information regarding most other trick methods to help you strengthening and you can keeping an excellent compliment relationship, see the Federal Extension Matchmaking and you will Matrimony Knowledge Design,
Within her guide, The latest Dance regarding Relationship, practitioner Harriet Lerner (2002) talks about having a real voice when you look at the essential intimate dating. She contends one a crucial part having an actual voice is actually “openly shar[ing] competence as well as problems and you can vulnerability (Lerner 2002, 3). The lady a lot of time-identity clinical routine shows that it’s sexual telecommunications requires couples totally hearing one another and you can inquiring clarifying questions that enable him or her to know one another much deeper. Successfully sexual lovers are also in a position county their thoughts and you may thoughts, even when those individuals vary from the lover’s.
Bad perceptions. Bad interpretation activities tend to exists when lovers faith the brand new poor instead of the best regarding the each other (Fincham, Bradbury, and Scott, 1990; Holtzworth-Munroe and you will Jacobson 1985). Instance partners are certainly not “keeping they positive.” They could participate in a crude begin-up bid based on an awful interpretation otherwise assumption. They could turn facing or away from their lover whenever responding to help you a quote. Partners that are expected to bad interpretations you will alternatively are humorous an optimistic reason behind the newest other people’s practices and you will sharing all of them with their partner. Particularly, instead of, “You did perhaps not take out the latest garbage as you need to generate me aggravated,” Jim you will say to their girlfriend, Peg, “I am sure you don’t take-out the rubbish because you consider I’d convey more to add to the latest is.”
Love, P
Coan, J., J. Gottman, J. Babcock, and you will N. Jacobson. 1997. Battering plus the male getting rejected off infiuence out of female. Aggressive Conclusion -388.